You think you know Franklin? You have no idea.

And neither do we. At least not yet. Not really. But we’re getting there!

Franklin just started working here at Quilted Squirrel, and you better believe we’re getting him up to speed. Does part of that process involve grilling him with hard-to-answer questions… on the spot… on camera… in 60 seconds or less?

Yes. Yes, it does.

Not into video? No worries. Check out the transcript below:

Where did you work before you started here?
WGR Sports Radio 500, and I still work there, just in a limited role.

Name one thing that makes you smile.
Um, comedy.

Will the Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl this year?
That’s a loaded question.

In one word, describe Quilted Squirrel.
Family.

Who played bass guitar for The Beatles?
Paul McCartney.

What was Popeye’s occupation?
Sailor.

Name all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Oh, I didn’t watch them as a kid. Oh, shoot. Um. Next.

Name four co-workers.
James. Lisa. Chris. Alyssa.

What is the key to a woman’s heart?
Uh, making ‘em happy.

Who would win in a fight—a horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
(Chuckles) I’m gonna go with a horse-sized duck.

What is your middle name?
Joseph

What is 5 x 5 – 7?
Five times 5 is 25 minus seven is 18.

Why won’t your sister return my phone calls?
I’m not su—

Oh! I’m sorry, that’s all the time we’ve got, but thank you for playing. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for watching. This has been Franklin in 60 seconds.

/// Blooper reel ///

James: All great. It’s real. It’s raw. It’s uncut… It’s gonna be cut, a little bit.

(Beep)

James: Oh! I’m sorry, that’s all the time we’ve got, but thank you for playing. Ladies and gentlemen, this has been… (stumbles)

(Laughter)

(Beep)

James: Thank you so much for playing, this has been 60 seconds with Franklin.

Off Camera: Franklin in 60 seconds

(Beep)

Off Camera: Franklin, I’m gonna read you a question. When I’m done reading that question, you’re gonna answer. Do you understand?

Franklin: (Mumbles inaudibly. Laughs)

Off Camera: Wow this is not a good start.

(Beep)

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