Dear God, it’s the Zombie Apocalypse.

What are we doing?! Where are we going?! We paneled the Quilted Squirrel staff to see how they’d handle the dreaded—but ultimately inevitable—Zombie Apocalypse. Here’s what we had to say.

Emily Olek, Account Manager
If the Zombie Apocalypse is here, I have most certainly perished. I am now the Zombie. This is a much better play, in my opinion. 

Lisa Hinterberger, Graphic Designer
My best friend, Jessica. Not only is she a black belt in Taekwondo but she is also a trauma doctor. Jess basically knows all and I appreciate her getting me through all my self-diagnoses which have been quite A LOT. 

Steve Lingle, CEO
It depends on how far it’s progressed. If there’s hope we’ll come out on the other side, I’d team up with my neighbor, Chad. He is a former Marine, likely owns artillery, and probably knows his way around a choke hold or two. BUT, if we’re deep into the apocalypse with very little hope of a return to normalcy, I’d likely just succumb to the zombies and join whatever crusade they’re leading. Strength in numbers. 

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Chris White, Creative Director
I’d call Steve… primarily to crash at his place. I figure the zombies will probably be attacking the more densely populated areas first—it’s easy pickings—before they head out to the more rural areas. And that’ll probably take some time. So, we could get in a good few weeks at minimum of fishing in his pond and swimming before the onslaught (assuming it’s a warmer season… I doubt zombies like the cold). Also, his neighbor, Chad (see Steve… not him, his answer). 

Tyler McElhaney, Graphic Designer
My son, Fox. He’s played enough zombie video games that he likely has the marksmanship of an elite sniper at this point. He would know all the secrets to survival.

Jerry Lee, Marketing Strategist
I’d call Chris… primarily to crash at “his” house, because when he goes over to Steve’s house, his will be empty, and he’s got a nice digs. I’ll bet his wifi is much faster, too, which will be helpful to find YouTube videos of how to survive a Zombie apocalypse.

James Colombo, Copywriter & Content Strategist
I’m probably calling my friend Joe, a.k.a. “Boider,” which is an amalgamation of “steroids” and “rocker”—even though he has neither used steroids nor played in a rock band. It was a sarcastic name we made up for him in high school, and well, anyway, he’s super strong, fiercely intelligent, and loyal as hell. Give me Boider or give me death!

What would YOU do in the Zombie Apocalypse?