In Western New York and across the Northeast, fall is hands down the most stunning season of them all. The changing leaves, the geraniums, the glowing orange pumpkins grinning at passersby from porches and front steps. What better way to capture the whimsies and delights of this magical season than in poem? We’ve adapted the traditional Japanese form—the haiku—to celebrate the things that make fall special, from the resounding chorus of leafblowers throughout the neighborhood on weekend mornings to the socially sanctioned occult activities, like pumpkin carving, in which many of us enjoy participating.

A Note on the Value of Layers

Buffalo fall day:

Sunny, rainy, windy, hot,

Snow? All before lunch

For When Your Neighbor Wakes Up to Find a Fresh Coating of Leaves on His Pristine Lawn

Quiet neighborhood—

Suddenly, a leafblower.

Put it away, Rick!

An Inconvenient Truth About Pumpkin Spiced Lattes

All pumpkin spice is

Naturally and ethically

Sourced from the same vat.

On Dressing for the Season

Brilliant fall colors,

But every sweater I own—

The same shade of beige

If You or Someone You Know Has Been a Victim of Prolonged Exposure to Hocus Pocus, You’re Not Alone

RIP the list

Of fun fall activities

I’ve abandoned to

Instead watch Hocus Pocus

For the seventh time this week

Sunday Afternoon Football

A sacred time when

Dads across the country yell

At men on TV

A Short List of Requirements for The Optimal Halloween Costume (According to My Dad)

  • Easy to unzip
  • Has pockets (storage is key)
  • Double as PJ’s

In 2011, Congress Classified Pizza as a Vegetable, Which Means Any Food Can Be Nutritious With Some Faith and a Well-Funded Lobbying Campaign

If pizza is a

Vegetable then candy corn

Is a whole grain, right?

Oversized Scarves: Wear at Your Own Risk or When the Scarf Wears You 

Help! My giant scarf

Has swallowed me whole and now

I can’t see daylight.

Is Carving Pumpkins

A fun fall craft or

Ritual gourd sacrifice?

Gourds can feel pain too.


Now that’s what I call prowess of prosody.

Also, if you’re interested in becoming an ally to gourds and joining the gourds rights movement, we meet at Steve’s house to make posters and go door-to-door every Tuesday evening from now until Thanksgiving. Feel free to just show up, or contact us at [email protected].

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