Jerry Lee, Marketing Strategist

Yikes! School was interesting enough when you weren’t trying to impress your friends, but that’s when I really amped up my stupidity.

I have a number of examples that would make you think I hated my experience (making a late entrance to a band performance and falling “up” the stairs—with trumpet in hand—in front of the entire middle school student body, anyone?).

But if I could go back, I’d do it in a second.

Teaching the art class how to use Paint on a Macintosh, finding out girls aren’t as impressed as you’d think with loudly winning a race to “drink” jello through a straw, or having your first illustration selected for Kids Corner magazine… they’re all so innocent and so simple, and yet they’re as good as any adult moment you’ve planned for for months.

I do have one regret, though.

My friend Chris used to pick on girls in fifth grade by walking behind them and kicking their trailing foot behind their planted foot mid-step, to make them stumble. Just a bit of confused flirting. Walking behind Chris, I saw the reaction he got, but with a crowded view, I didn’t realize what he actually did to make her stumble. Apparently, he didn’t just kick her in the shin… which is what I tried later, only to a slightly different reaction.

Sorry, Nicole. I hope you’re walking better these days.

Tyler McElhaney, Graphic Designer

I bleached my hair in middle school.

I thought I was really cool.

Then people kept saying it was neat that I didn’t care what everyone else thought or what they said.

Never did that again.

James A. Colombo III, Copywriter & Content Strategist

Here’s a quick list of random memories from my grade school days, ranging from 1990 to 2003. And again in 2010.

1. In kindergarten, Elisa DuBow had a birthday party at a roller rink. But I couldn’t skate. So when I went to take a whiz—on skates—I couldn’t balance myself and peed my pants. This was especially devastating because that was the day I was going to make my big move on my crush, Emily McMahon. That never panned out, of course. Thirty-two years later, I still can’t skate. And I’m still prone to peeing my pants.

2. The next year, in first grade, I got caught looking up the teacher’s skirt doing story time. It was probably the most shameful and experience of my life. Why am I telling you this?

3. In sixth grade, I got one of those George Clooney haircuts. They used to call that style the “Caesar.” I thought it looked pretty good. I was excited about it. But then on Monday, Mike Bucelli told me that Jamie Jordans said the haircut made me look “fatter.” That hurt—but she wasn’t wrong. Still, though. Ouch.

4. Senior year, I crashed my car into a telephone poll. I was swerving to avoid a family of ducks crossing the road. Nobody believes that, but it’s true. Billy Wilson was riding shotgun. I’d encourage you to ask him to verify the account, but you can’t, because he’s dead. Not from the car crash. From the war in Afghanistan. Um, this has taken an unexpectedly dark turn. Whose idea was this, anyway?

5. I taught one full year of 7th grade ELA at Tonawanda Middle School. I don’t think I was very good at it. I yelled too much. But we laughed a lot, too. That’s life, I guess. My biggest regret is not encouraging more kids to explore their interest in the trades. In short: Teaching is hard.

Uh, that’ll do for now.

Please send your concerned comments and angry emails to [email protected]. Thanks for reading.

Lisa Hinterberger, Graphic Designer

Probably one of the best memories of high school was making it to the state finals for lacrosse my junior year.

This was a pretty big deal since no WNY woman’s lacrosse team ever made it past regionals.

Making it to States, though, was bittersweet because it fell on the same day as our prom. And, sadly, we ended up losing to a powerhouse team from Central New York.

But Kiss 98.5 caught wind of our prom-less lacrosse team and decided to throw one for us at a local country club! So not only did we make it to states that year, but we also had our prom, too!

Alyssa Boczar, Senior Account Manager

I always liked school.

In grade school, you could find me in the soprano section of chorus or trying out for the talent show.

In middle school and beyond, I took to the stage in drama club and participated in an International business club DECA.

My senior year, I was elected to serve as secretary for New York State DECA, getting to help organize our state wide competition and travel to various events throughout the year to represent New York.

Bonus back-to-school fact: Lisa and I went to school together! I think we were in the same class at one point in elementary school. And we had lockers near each other in high school. Now we work together.

What a small world!

Steve Lingle, CEO

Freshman year of high school. Lunch time. I don’t have a ton of friends (still don’t today) so my older sister invites me to sit at their table.

I’m in. Cool kids, hot eats.

I grab a well-outfitted salad from the salad bar and make my way over to the table. Small problem: one chair short. No big deal. I put my tray on the table and grab a spare chair. Just need to lift it around a couple people and land it safely on the floor.

Another small problem: On the way down to the floor, said spare chair clips my lunch tray, launching my well-outfitted salad onto the floor. OK. I’m fine. Time to regroup. I gather the loose lettuce, head back to the salad bar, and acquire a new salad.

The cafeteria staff couldn’t have been more lovely and accommodating.

En route back to the table, I stop at the trash can to get rid of the OG salad. I slide it off the tray, right into the trash—and along with it goes my brand new salad.

Two salads, one tray, one trash can. No lunch. Time for the empty-handed walk-of-shame back to the table.

“They didn’t give you a new salad,” my sister asks.

“They did. I threw it out.”

[Confused look from sister.]

[Shoulder shrug from me.]

[Gather table scraps for vital nourishment.]