If you follow us on Facebook, it should be no surprise that we sometimes get mistaken for a quilt-related business of some sort. Since our name has a lot more to do with needlecrafts and woodland rodents than full-service marketing, we can really only complain about this so much. One of the things we enjoy about our new office location is that we get a lot more foot traffic. The location is significantly more visible to both pedestrians and cars. So, obviously, a lot more people are seeing our sign and wondering what the hell we do here. Something we look forward to is the hundreds to thousands of people in the future who think that what the hell we do is quilting. And then call to ask us what size rotary cutters we stock and if we carry quilting gloves in size XXL. We were concerned because this building used to be a pizza place, so we thought we’d get a lot of walk-ins and phone calls demanding pizza. Oh, how wrong we were. Here is a Top 3 List of Mistaken Identity Situations we’ve faced thus far (in the above-mentioned quilting predicament). Editor’s note: this list is definitive. Please don’t contact us insisting that the order should be changed. Consider this list the Ten Commandments – might as well be carved in stone. 3. The Repeat Caller. A few weeks ago an elderly woman (you will see a trend happening here if you pay really, really close attention) called to ask about quilting supplies. She found us in the yellow pages (I assume an actual phone book was involved. Remember those things that appear on your doorstep a few times a year that I cleverly call “garbage can weights?”). Our incredibly patient Account Exec let her know that we were a marketing agency and didn’t have anything to do with quilting. A few minutes later the phone rang again. $4 to the first person who can correctly deduce, based on the apt title of this list entry, who it was. (Editors note: prize money has already been awarded. Too slow, turtles).  She was still looking for quilting supplies and hadn’t realized she had just called. Then she called one more time – third time’s the charm, I guess. And after three calls, we still did not have any bamboo creasers or flower embellishment makers to offer this admirably persistent caller.

2. The Special Invitation. Everyone loves when the mail comes. Sitting there, wondering if it will be a surprise package, or that new flower maker you ordered. A hand-written card from an old friend? Jackpot. Maybe it’s an invitation to a party or wedding. Maybe it’s a check from a client. And then the mail comes, and – surprise! It’s all bills. Only this time, something special came….

An invitation, just for us, from the River Lea Quilter’s Guild. For just $40, we can purchase a booth at their annual quilt show and showcase all the beautiful quilts we’ve been working so hard on down here in Hamburg. If we have an abundance of quilts, we can purchase two tables for a steal. They’re only accepting seven vendors, so it was really quite an honor to be considered for our expertise in this particular field. 1. The Disappointed Walk-In. Everyone might love getting mail, but we’ve discovered that visitors to our new office are sometimes a mixed bag. We’ve had plenty of friendly neighbors stop by who want to introduce themselves and find out a little about what we do here. An occasional vendor or service provider trying to secure some new business. Sometimes, it’s even people who might want to hire us. But there is another category of visitors that are slightly less exciting and a whole lot more awkward: the elderly woman who thinks we’re a quilt shop. One particular visitor bypassed the signs on the door that explain what we do and entered our lobby. She announced that she was just here to “browse” and see what we have. It was not until she finished that sentence and took a good look at the office-like desks and quilt-free creative space that she realized she might not have come to the right place. Suddenly her story changed, and now she announced that she was walking by and just wanted to see “what we do here.”

After a few tries to gently explain that we don’t have anything to do with quilts, don’t have any kind of retail merchandise, and we in fact are a marketing agency, she finally understood. “Oh,“ she said. “So you don’t really do anything here.” 

And so you have it. What the hell do we do here? Not really anything. At least that’s what we put on the signs. Believe me, we understand how disappointing it is when you think you’ve found a great new vendor for a hobby you’re passionate about and discover that it’s basically the exact opposite of what you think you found (well, not a literal opposite. It’s not like we’re taking quilts and destroying them).  There is a company next door, called EZ Squeezees, and when we found out what they actually do versus what we thought/hoped they might do, we felt that same sting of accidental deception. So if you are looking for quilts, quilting supplies, or quilting advice please do not come here (warning: the quilting advice we dole out is NOT ACCURATE). But if you just want to stop by and say hello, we’d love to have you. The Kegerator should be up and running very soon. And even though we do actually do things here and are frequently hard at work, we’re always happy to give a tour and a top-gun style windmill high-five to a friendly visitor who is already fully stocked up on quilting fabrics.

This post is filed under: how to be the best quilter, Office Happenings, quilts, the elderly